Another beautiful day in Bottesford

372B81E1-D5D1-4F80-9CAD-160225DD42F9My poor hubby is so fed up now he has had to repaint the front door as we didn’t like the colour he painted it yesterday. We brought this green gloss from Wilko but it wasn’t nice so thankfully I had brought some Black for the front step so he used it to go over the green. As we are on a budget we decided to up cycle the door furniture(apparently that’s what you call the letter box, lock etc)and brought some silver spray paint and went over them with that and honestly it came up really well, so we how have a lovely new up cycled  front door. We still need to scrape the paint off the glass but I think it looks good. Some people say why do you spend money on a rental property but at the end of the day it’s our home so we want it to look nice plus if it was anything major our landlord would help out.

I don’t know if it was because we moved three times in two years but it took a while for are new house to feel like home, it wasn’t even really down to the decoration(even though that has helped)I think it was because our move was due to necessity rather than choice. But now it feels like home and slowly we are decorating it our way, I love watching vlogs to get decoration ideas and seeing what other people have in their houses.

Well I need to be honest I started this blog on Sunday and it’s now Tuesday but we have had a busy couple of days with the grandsons and making the most of the weather. And also if you were wondering why I hadn’t said anything about my weight loss journey, well as you know I have recently had some blood tests so I am now on the waiting list, so when I have my operation date I will start with my weight loss journey blog, plus I am thinking of doing a vlog as well(would love to know your thoughts). Now this will be a challenge for me as even though I like to chat (those who know me no what I mean) I not very confident when it comes to my body and how I look, not just that I am over weight but my looks have changed over the years and sometimes I don’t recognise myself in the mirror! But I will do it as I would like vlog how it really is having Gastric Bypass surgery, that it’s not the easy option, the ups the downs warts and all(no I don’t have warts).

So Sunday evening we had a lovely bbq at Emma’s with the boys it was nice seeing them enjoying the weather, Oliver loved playing i a washing up bowl of water(couldn’t find the paddling pool) sometimes it’s the simple things that make them the happiest. Monday we relaxed and did some gardening both in Emma’s garden and ours, I am not really into gardening but I do like it to look nice, I would rather have hanging baskets and tubs less weeding that way. At the moment we are sorting out a new lawn, so all the top is off and John has watched a video on YouTube on how to lay a lawn by Alan Titchmarsh, so we are all set(unfortunately my lovely hubby isn’t very DIY minded or really know what he is doing when it comes to garden, not that I am Charlie Dimmock)so just need the turf. So now it’s Tuesday and we are still having lovely weather, and I have met up with a friend for a coffee and catch up and now I am off to sort some more things to put on eBay, enjoy the weather guys blog soon x


My pregnancy story with Emma Jane

As you must be able to tell by now I don’t do things easily so when I found out I was pregnant with Emma the worry was that again I was about 6 months pregnant as I found out on my birthday so the 2nd of June but hadnt had a period since the January. Now I put this down to being overweight and that since having Louise my periods have been erratic so it came as a complete shock when they sent me for my ultrasound scan to be told that I was actually only eight weeks pregnant,so unlike being pregnant with Louise ( finding out in the January Then having her in the May) this pregnancy was going to be long(I know the normal time for some)

As I had a C section with Louise I decided that maybe natural birth wasn’t for me so I wanted to have another C section so again I went and saw my lovely consultant Mr Stuart who has such a way with words so upon me asking for a section his reply was  “you’re more likely to come out of the hospital in a box than go out of the hospital holding a baby” how he thought this was going to reassure me I don’t know but as usual it did nothing to calm my fears, so here I was thinking oh my word what if I have to have a C section if the labour didn’t progress ??? he did explain to me that if I was to have a C section after being in labour they class that as a emergency section and “it’s all in the word emergency so it would be an emergency whether I was a skinny mini or 10 ton Tessie” again he has such a way with words. anyway he did say that I could only have a trail by scar labour,as apparently the C-section starcan only with stand up to 7 hours of labour so, at the most I was going to have seven hours of labour.

thankfully but both my pregnancies have been really good I didn’t suffer with morning sickness I didn’t get swollen ankles I know is in hospital for about five weeks With Louise on bed rest but I think that was more to do with stress, shock and everything that was going on at the time and the  circumstances rather than with my pregnancy.  but with Emma nothing, cravings were sausages chips and beans loved the smell of the fish mongers so much so by this time I was working and I was running a shop in Hythe Kent called Granada TV rentals and I would have to walk past the fish mongers to get to the shop and I must admit most lunchtime towards the end of my pregnancy I would could be found outside the fish mongers,they always invited me in but no I was only there for the smell.

So both pregnancies were quite uneventful really the only other thing was because I was so large (again I was super morbidly obese)  the doctor told me that actually I wouldn’t  put that much weight on with being pregnant as the baby would eat my fat reserves and to be honest I only put on 12 lb which is really quite good but the sad thing was I didn’t actually look pregnant I just look fatter sometimes I wish I could wear a T-shirt that said I’m actually eight months pregnant and not this fat

Emma decided that she was quite comfy where she was so she was due on the 12th  of January and she turned out to be five days late so what’s really weird is she ends up being born on the 17th of January and Louise was born on the 17th of May both the girls were born on the 17th of the month now this is where it gets a little bit weirder you see I was born on the 2nd of the month and Gary was born on the 15th of the month so you add 15 and 2 together and you get 17 just a little weird Fact about our family for you.  I remember the night before helping Gary to put things up in the loft and we had a Kentucky fried chicken for tea now normally I must admit I do usually get an upset tummy from KFC (but it’s finger licking good!). so in the morning and it was a Sunday morning I thought I must just have an upset tummy again so I didn’t think that I was in labour anyway eventually I thought to myself there is more to this than an upset tummy and at the time unfortunately Gary was out of work so I house phone was incoming calls only so poor Gary had to go round to the phone box call my mother (which you’re now know from previous blogs he didn’t like  her) and ask if she could look after the Louise while we went up to the hospital to see what was going on.

we arranged to drop Louise off at my mum’s and made our way up to the hospital to be told that yes I was in the early stages of labour so they put me on the maternity ward and attached a tens machine to help with the contractions,but all it seemed to do was give me electric shocks and made things 10 times worse.  my sister came up to keep us company so I’m on the bed having these contractions my sister and Gary are paying cards whilst eating chocolate’s that were bought for me but anyway it was a bit of a laugh and it kept my mind off the contractions. so then I felt that they were getting worse so I had to walk round to the delivery suite on my way round we came across Gloria’s next door neighbour and Bless her she had stopped to see how I was but I had a major contraction and I had to lean on her for about five minutes but she helped me to the delivery suite which was good.  I laid on the bed and all of a sudden all of these midwives Came rushing in, (my midwife was standing at the end of my bed)and said is everything ready can’t you hear your lady is pushing I had no idea that I was pushing already. Then all of a sudden I hear this high-pitched voice “hello hello” it was my mother she had come to relieve Gary so that he could go home and have a Sunday dinner because she thought I would be in labour a long time like I was with Louise, so I was pushing and had my mother in there which is exactly what I didn’t want but  in for a penny in for a pound.

well I’m not one of these mothers that want the baby put on to their tummy all gooey no I want the baby to be washed first I am sorry but I can’t do it.  my two daughters who had brilliant births and with Emma I had the privilege of being there when Oliver was born and she was absolutely brilliant and she loved the fact that Oliver was put onto her tummy and she had the skin to skin contact. so I thought to myself if I keep my eyes closed then I wouldn’t see the mess or any of the messy bits so I kept my eyes closed and I thought I could push harder with my eyes closed but the midwife just kept saying to me To open my eyes and then my mother was going on at me about opening my eyes as well to the point where the midwife asked if my mother was a retired midwife before she could reply Gary pipes up “no she’s just very bossy”.

well like with Louise the baby was getting into distress,they started prepping me for a C section but the doctor said that she would try to  use forceps first so they injected me (obviously down below ) and I had to be cut and I’m sure they didn’t even get the forceps in as she was out before they even had chance to use them. she was born so quickly (3 hrs 20 minutes in total) that she came out and had a poo which splattered all up the wall and all over the Doctor Who was assisting the birth Gary had the first cuddle because yes I will admit it I was disappointed that she was a girl and I’m sure Emma will take great delight if she ever does a blog or vlog telling everyone that I actually didn’t hold her until I got back on the ward,and this isn’t because I didn’t love her of course I loved her and I love her to bits but I was disappointed that I hadn’t given Gary a boy and the saddest thing was also that his surname would stop with him as he was an only child. so on Sunday 17th of January 1993 Emma Jane before weighing 8 lb 4 oz

A sunny day for the 1st May

So today has been weird, I feel shattered and a pin cushion as it took four attempts and two nurses to get some blood! You see the down side of being super morbidly obese oh yes I am now super(first time I have been called super) morbidly obese which is why I am on the waiting list for Gastric Bypass surgery.

Please don’t think this is an easy option as it is truly not, it’s taken years for me to even get on the waiting list, and now my next step is that I must have blood tests and then hopefully I will get a date this year. The only problem is that my veins do not play ball when it comes to blood tests, it runs in my family on the female side, so it took two visits four attempts(this time) and two nurses, but it done so one step closer to surgery.

I have tried every diet healthy eating plan out there but nothing worked not even getting divorced! People think that it’s easy once to you have the bypass surgery but believe me I have had to comes to terms with that I will never eat a full meal again, some food will be out-of-bounds, some I won’t be able to digest, I could suffer from dumping syndrome which can make you really ill and even pass out, I could get an infection as its major surgery and not to mention the pain plus it won’t help me to lose all the weight I need to lose. My life is going to completely change but do you know I think it will be worth it just for that fact that I will get to spend quality time with my Grandsons and live longer.

I am very lucky though as, as yet I don’t have any obesity related illness, I don’t have diabetes, high blood pressure, cholesterol but I am being tested hence being shattered for sleep apnea so last night I was wired up with a black box on my chest, finger oxygen tracker, nasal cannula and microphone. I was shocked about the mic as the nurse said that it records everything snoring voices everything, so well I burped which I apologised for broke wind twice, apologised as the mic became disconnected, woke my hubby up looking for Jasper as I thought the machine had killed him, went to the toilet and finally asked my hubby to turn over as he was snoring, so it was an invent full night and I hope who ever listens to my recording gets a laugh.

The illnesses that I do have and live with everyday and why I had to give up work in 2009 are the following (sorry it’s not self pity but my life). I have depression unfortunately like I have touched on in my other blogs mental illness is in our family but mine is controlled by antidepressants and I usually know when I need them upped. Fibromyalgia which is a chronic pain syndrome which affects me in different ways from muscle spasms, fibro brain fog, fatigue, insomnia and pain that painkillers don’t touch, some days it’s hard to just get out bed. MS newly diagnosed they think fibromyalgia was masking it somehow so getting used to seeing the difference. RLS which is restless leg syndrome, jump and twitchy legs. And then osteoarthritis in both knees that need replacing but because of my weight I can’t have done, and because of the arthritis my mobility is poor so I am in a catch 22 really.

So please feel free to ask questions and if you want to know more let me know, will blog again soon xx

Background of Lucy Lee

I like this photo it was taken on my 40th birthday so yes eight years have gone past but I’m basically the same just fatter and with glasses now permanently on my face Cath  kidston no less which you’re come to realise I’m a bit of a Cath Kidston Horder fan and collector

This ties in with my introduction and weight loss journey really so here goes chubby yes as a baby slim until about 11 years old as I was told that I went on a trip and I do remember it fondly with my grandparents in a camper van to the south of France well we travelled round France really and I have to admit  it was an eye-opener especially with the squat toilets and having to shower with my grandmother but all in all it was the best holiday I ever had one of the reasons being  my sister didn’t come along so it was just myself and my grandparents and the camper van. anyway apparently because of all the cheese and the French bread I then started to put on weight “puppy fat”as they used to call it and this is how I stayed until well until I got bigger and bigger and bigger really and there was a reason behind it and not just because I’m stuffing my face.

I move out of home at 16 and move into a house share fending for myself now and obviously not eating correctly and at this time I was dating Gary who was to be my first husband and gradually I started to put on weight because I was getting down about it at 18 I moved back in with my parents and sister.  I went to the doctors to have a routine checkup  as I was on the contraception pill and also because I had already been about my weight I was taking slimming  tablets now you’ve got to remember this was back in 1988 when they were still dishing them out without knowing the side-effects but obviously for me they weren’t working well they wanted to do some tests so had some blood test taken and also they wanted to do a pregnancy test I couldn’t be pregnant I was on the pill and I’ve had my periods but anyway end of January 1988 I find out I am  pregnant but not just pregnant I was 5 1/2 months pregnant hence no weight loss.

Now the scary thing was the fact I was taking slimming tablets I had been ill so I had taken painkillers and antibiotics (which obviously now I have worked out that my pill didn’t work because of these hence being pregnant )but also  that’s gone through to the baby And because I was 5 1/2 months I was too far gone for any blood test’s to check the baby was okay all I could have was a scan and thankfully the scan showed she was okay so in May 1988 my first daughter Louise was born 6 lb 11 oz after 18 hours of labour but no progression and emergency section so here I was 18  (well really 19 as she was due in June but decided to come three weeks early )with a newborn baby and overweight!

Weight Loss Journey

From the start……..

Well the other day I found some photos of me as a baby and I have been told that I was a cubby baby, cute and looked like I was half Italian which I am not as I used to turn brown with the switch on of a light bulb. The saddest thing about these photos was the fact that my Mother had written on the back of one of them the words FAT, I can’t believe it a cute yes cubby baby being called fat……….

I think I am about 18 months old in these photos and this is the start of my weight loss journey and my Mother always putting me down…….now that a whole other blog for another day.