“Do you have tea with the Queen?”

I was Born in Cuckfield Hospital in Sussex on the 2nd of June 1969 we lived in Ifield near Crawley in West Sussex and I vaguely remember certain aspects of living there I remember it was where my sister was born she was born in Crawley hospital and sometimes I can remember certain things but I don’t know if it’s you know when you’ve been told the tale so many times that it becomes a memory or you actually do remember it.  I do remember sitting in my high chair and apparently I was copying all the actions my dad was doing and then the doorbell went and my mum answered the door and I do vaguely remember that but I’ve been told the story so many times of me copy my dad’s actions he would put his hands on his head and so would I then he would put his fork down and I’ll put mine down so I do remember that. I don’t however remember, but I have been told that for some reason when I started toddling(my mum must’ve been outside the front of our house with me and I must’ve been playing ) she said that at some point I accidentally went and had a poo on somebody’s doorstep how embarrassing! thanks mum for sharing that. She also likes to tell me of the time when I went to my godparents sons Michael’s christening, apparently I had over heard someone saying that Micheal’s grandfather was a bit of a bugger and apparently I strolled up to him at church ( a Catholic Church in fact) I must’ve been all of three years old and took great delight of telling this old chap in a loud voice that he was a right bugger!what a Proud daughter moment that must have been.

it’s amazing what children do you come out with because I remember Louise one time I was on the bus going into town and a young man got on with dreadlocks and sat in front us and Louise is such a loud voice shouts “poo eee mummy his hair smells “ I’m really Didnt know where to put myself! what’s the saying “out of the mouth of babes” well I’m sure we’ve all had times or been told of times where we’ve Had either our children embarrassed.

After my sister was born we moved to Bramley in Hampshire and we lived here until I was about six and I remember going to the local primary school and remember they would have a massive fireworks display on bonfire night. now this is where my parents split up unfortunately it wasn’t a amicable split either, my mum actually had an affair with next door but one Neighbour (and in my eyes I think there was a little bit of wife swapping but not in the contents you think) what happened was my mum fell for the next door but one neighbour and when my father and his wife found our about it, it forced his wife and my dad together because they had to sort things out. They got together and are in fact still together today and I have a half-brother with them. so I remember that we moved out from one house in Bramley next door but one to the other house in Bramley and this is where my life could’ve changed completely as I do remember my mum saying to me  who would I like to live with my mum or my dad I don’t think that was fair as at the age of 5 years old of course I wanted to be with my mum so I made the decision to live with my mum. gosh how different my life would’ve been if I’d gone off and lived with my dad but I made the most of it and this is the life that I have this is the life that I can blog about.

unfortunately the relationship between my mother and this man didn’t last so we actually sold up and we moved to Ashford in Kent which is where my grandparents lived at the time, so we moved to be near them and I do remember that we stayed with them quite a while until my mum found a nice house and she did,she found a lovely cottage it was only two bedrooms and  it was Barryhill cottages in Ashford.  my grandparents lived in West well Lane’s in Ashford so it was still close enough That I could get on my bike and ride to see my grandparents which was good and it was something that I like to do quite a lot as my mum and I didn’t get on I was my father’s daughter I reminded her of my father quite a lot where as when my parents split my sister was two years old so she didn’t really remember my father but I was six and I do remember him. I did spend a lot of time with my grandparents and my grandmother (I think I’ve said before in my blog she was my mother figure) she was the one that gave the cuddles and the love unfortunately my mother wasn’t maternal at all and she did struggle with this and like I have hinted before she struggled with mental illness and at this stage I think we were sheltered from a lot of her mental illness and it wasn’t until later life in our 40s (my sister and I)that we have discovered how much we were sheltered from it but that’s another blog.

so I lived in Ashford until 2003 when we relocated to Waddington Lincoln, up north as they say and I did wonder why Gary had brought us to this part of England(apart from his promotion) as all the roads had red road crash warnings and I honestly thought when I first arrived this is where I will be killed! Until moving here I didn’t realise I had an accent, don’t get me wrong I know people do have accents but when everyone talks like you don’t notice it. I also didn’t know there was such a north south divide either and it was quite a shock, and sorry to say especially when viewing houses the decor seemed to behind what was going on “down south” so it was a bit of an eye opener. I also found it to be very cold even though it was only about 2-3 degrees different it was a lot for me and waiting in the school playground with the mums in t-shirts and me with a thick cardigan I think you could tell who was the “southern softy”.

with the accents I was always being told you are a cockney, no actually you have to be born in London under the sound of the bow bells and I am from Kent A whole different place, oh you must do all your shopping in London, er no why would I travel 1.5hrs to shop when we had perfectly good shops in Ashford, then the best one “you must have tea with the queen?” Why on earth would I have tea with the queen, why would she even know who I was! Then there’s cobs,baps and barns what the hell! I visited out local Curtis bakery and asked for a “bacon roll” (simple I thought but no) “do you mean a sausage roll” “no a bacon roll” “oh we don’t don’t do bacon in pastry!” “No bacon in a bread roll” “oh you mean a bacon bap” oh yes silly me a bacon bap, we have baps with burgers but I wasn’t going to confuse things.  With this new found knowledge that rolls were baps, I started work in Newark(which at the time i didnt know was in Nottinghamshire not Lincolnshire)and went to the sandwich van and proudly asked for a “bacon bap” to get the reply “do you mean a bacon cob?” A bacon cob what’s a cob for goodness sake, it’s a type of horse isn’t it, but no I stand corrected in Nottinghamshire is a bread roll!! And don’t get me started on the scrumps/scraps(crispy batter bits in the fish and chip shop) or that you have fish,chip and kebab shops combined and the whole Barth/bath grass/grass glarss/Glass debate.

but do you know what you wouldn’t  meet more friendly,kind and respectful people in England(in my experience) they would do anything for you even though they do speak a bit funny! Xx