Today I decided to share my blog with Facebook and Instagram, which was a big step for me as I didn’t know if I wanted people I know reading my blog, as it’s already public anyway I took the plunge and just did it. I am new to this and it may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but it’s my life and what I am going through, read it don’t read it but please be gentle with me, some pointers would be gratefully received.
This title reminds me of the last time “I put it out there”which is how I met my second husband John so hopefully I will have the same good experience(not that I want a new hubby I am happy with the one I have). So it’s 2005 and Gary and I have separated, he’s moved on already and living around the corner with “my best friend”(yes another blog idea) and I am at home with my two daughters thinking that nobody would want a big bird like me! But one day my oldest daughter Louise comes home from her boyfriends with the lonely hearts Column of the local newspaper, and puts it under my nose and points to an advert which a man has put stating that he was looking for a chubby/cuddly woman, “see Mum there is men out there that like big women” well I didn’t answer the advert but it did get me thinking. So I decided that I would place an advert, but I wasn’t going to reply to any adverts, a way of protecting myself from getting hurt, laughed at and let down. But if they replied to my advert, and heard my voicemail explaining about me then I would “put myself out there”.
So after lots of drafts I finally put an advert in the lonely hearts column, and waited to see if I got any replies, and I was quite shocked as I had a few. The way it worked is they put a typed advert in the column and attach a phone number to the advert and you can record a voicemail that people who are interested can listen to and if they like leave a message. So after work I sat down with a glass of wine and listened to may possible matches, I had a few and then voice left a message saying his name was John, he sounded nice the message was a bit rushed though, the next message John again as he thought he had rushed the last message, the next message John again as he ran out of time last time and wanted to add some things, next message John again he had forgotten to leave his telephone, by this time I was laughing my head off listening to this man called John making a right tit of himself! But he had made me laugh which I hadn’t done in a long time, so I decided he would be the first one that I would call back.
So a top up of the wine glass and a deep breath and I call John, well we weren’t off the phone calling each other for next two weeks solid, I remember getting my mobile phone bill and it being more that my mortgage payment! Thankfully at the time I was working for Vodafone so I did get a few perks with the job. After two weeks it came to the point that should we actually meet each other, so we made a plan to meet at his local pub in the village he lived in. I was so nervous and I remember Louise helping me to get ready and I burst into tears, as even thought we had only been chatting, I feel like I am cheating on Gary, but Louise reassured me and points out the he isn’t sitting around the corner with the other woman crying that he’s hurting me! Wise word and the push I needed.
Now I don’t know if you believe in love at first sight, well I do as when I first met Gary a voice in my head told me that I would marry him one day and when I first saw John walking towards me the same voice piped up and said I would marry him one day, and on the 24th March 2007 that’s exactly what I did. Now the two years in between wasn’t easy and we had our slip ups but at the end of the day we knew were meant to be together, and when in 2009 I was told I had to give up work due to my illnesses I burst into tears in front of the doctor who said “it’s going to be ok” “no you don’t understand it’s not the illnesses it’s just that I am so grateful that I am married to John now and not Gary as I know he will take care of me” and he does, and makes me laugh everyday he’s the love of life and he’s has his moments but I wouldn’t change him for the world.